| The Last update of the season |
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| 02:45pm 10/12/2005 |
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It's been such a long while. It almost feels like I forgot how to type.
Here's how things have been going:
School hasn't been going well. I don't know if it's for me.
Parents are always on my ass.
Work is tiring but I like it.
I've been dating this really nice guy. He's adorable and he's such a sweetheart.
My car is running better than ever.
I got into a 21 and over bar and got tipsy.
Christmas is around the corner and the snow is falling faster than my heart.
I miss my sister. I don't get to see her much anymore.
The past is gone and I'm all about the future.
This journal is being retired. From now on I'm going to keep my private life exactly that: private.
We've had a good run.
Thanks for listening to my bullshit over the past years. I love you guys.
I'm out,
Nicole |
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(3 Rapists | Talk dirty to me) |
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| True Story |
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| 06:29pm 14/08/2005 |
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My car fell into a ditch
Everyone said that life was bitch
James found a stick
But it was too thick
We gave it a shove
But the thing wouldn't budge
The cops came around
And Al thought I was goin' downtown
The seats were hard and it was hot
I thought they gonna leave me to rot
A man and his son came with a truck
They pulled us out of the disgusting muck
I slid on the grass
And fell on my ass
James changed the tire
The cop was a liar
And we drove 35 all the way home |
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(6 Rapists | Talk dirty to me) |
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| 11:16pm 02/08/2005 |
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Memories fade, and I try to hold onto the images we've made.
I'm feeling alone and everything is going wrong. Kris used to be my escape. When I was with him I didn't think about anything else. Now he is gone and I have to face the real world full on.
Each day is like a slap in the face and I miss him. I miss him already. |
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(2 Rapists | Talk dirty to me) |
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| 01:28pm 27/07/2005 |
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Well summer is great.
Kris might get his tongue peirced.
I love late nights of poker, cigarettes, and talking.
I gave up drinking. We'll see how long that lasts.
I get to go to therapy tomorrow. It's been almost a month since I last went. New therapist. I'm excited.
William like dropped off the face of the planet. He hasn't called me in a month.
College starts in like 3 weeks. I'm sort of dreading it.
I saw Jen's apartment the other day. I think it's really nice.
I'm doin pretty good.
That's all for now folks. |
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(1 Rapist | Talk dirty to me) |
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| And then... |
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| 12:35am 20/07/2005 |
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I feel so lucky sometimes.
Like today when I thought I had a flat tire, but then realized (with the help of a few people) that it simply needed air.
Like today when me and Al walked by the sexuality section of the bookstore and saw a couple sitting on the floor looking at a book together, and burst out laughing.
Like today when I realized I have the ability to get over things better than some people, believe it or not.
Like today when I realized how stupid I was for allowing myself to be treated with such disregard.
Like right now.
Life is beautiful. Make the most. |
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(1 Rapist | Talk dirty to me) |
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| 06:01pm 18/07/2005 |
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K so...bad times all around. I've been going through some SHIT.
This college thing is so crazy, I can't figure anything out. They make it so hard for people just to fucking go to school.
My brother shattered Jen's window into a thousand peices today. It wasn't pretty. I'm going to visit her tonight and hopefully this time I don't get lost.
I want pizza.
I started birth control. I hate it. |
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(4 Rapists | Talk dirty to me) |
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| Expect the unexpected. |
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| 12:44pm 14/07/2005 |
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I talked to Jen's mom for 2 and half hours last night, while Jen slept peacefully in her room. We just sat outside and smoked cigarettes. She worked out the entire plot for my next book.
So Jen is moving out. For real this time. It's so exciting. I wish her the best of luck and hope that everything goes well. I can't wait to see all the mismatched furniture and kitchenware.
They all come home today. The house shall no longer be empty. It was bliss. It was magical. It was heaven. The days went by soooo fast. It seems like they just left. But it's already been 6 days. My time in paradise is over.
I'm going to visit Nan's today. I'm afraid of what might happen. Speaking of the fam...I wonder how little Niko Jr. is fairing in this lovely world. And I wonder how Daddy's Band is doing. I went to see them play one time at Kelly's on the Eastside (I think it's called that). They play classic rock and they were really good. I got cheese sticks and the ranch was divine.
Sometimes, I really love this crazy life.
And sometimes, I really love you too. |
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(1 Rapist | Talk dirty to me) |
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| The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair |
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| 01:01pm 12/07/2005 |
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fuckkkkkk
most of the time i feel like i'm nothing
but if i had someone to love and care for me then i wouldn't be the way that i am
or maybe that's just an excuse
i need constant reassurance...i have abandonment issues. maybe that's because anyone i've ever loved leaves, or plans on leaving. who sticks around these days? i guess i don't really blame them. i'd get out too if i could. why? to find love. that's always what it's about. well isn't it?
maybe it shouldn't be. i guess you can't help who you love. it just happens.
well shit.
god i'm such a weirdo |
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(Talk dirty to me) |
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| 07:18pm 11/07/2005 |
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Please, just take me away.
I'm begging you. |
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(Talk dirty to me) |
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| What do I know about love? |
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| 12:07am 05/07/2005 |
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Do whatever you fucking want.
And do a lot of it.
Because life is short.
What do I know about love?
Everything I thought I knew for sure has been shot to hell. I'm so fucking confused and nothing makes sense. I keep slipping further and further. No one is catching me. No one.
I need someone to be there 24 hours a day, 7 fucking days a week. I need someone to be in it for good. I need someone that will never ever fucking leave, no matter how bad things get. I need a love that won't die.
I need a miracle. |
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(4 Rapists | Talk dirty to me) |
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| So much for...so much more |
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| 03:31pm 29/06/2005 |
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It's been a little while. For me at least anyways.
Life has been so intense that it's throwing me for a loop. I've been having a lot of fun, but it all has to end. I have to move out in a few months so I have to start looking for a job. Seriously. I can't just be all casual and nochalent about it now.
Everything is just scary.
I hate the real world. |
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(Talk dirty to me) |
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second__thought's journal
